Who would I be if I had zero fear of other people’s opinions?

I love that question, so let’s dive into it.

Before Zero Fear, Let’s First Understand “Fear”.

When we’re approaching this from a mindset or mind-level perspective:

Fear holds many of us back.
Fear stops us from actually pursuing what we want to pursue.
Fear has a way of testing you.

Yet, this is the ultimate bypass of what “fear” actually is. Let’s take it a step further.

To give you a simple illustrative example:

You’re alone in the forest.

Dense trees on all sides, the kind of quiet where you can hear your own breathing. You’re walking the familiar trail, mind somewhere else entirely—maybe thinking about what you’ll make for dinner, or that text you forgot to send.

Then you hear it.

Loud footsteps.
Heavy.
Nearby.

Your heart slams against your ribcage.

Everything in your body drops—stomach, breath, thought. Gone.

You freeze. Not a choice. Your body just… stops.

In that split second, your nervous system is assessing: Fight? Flight? Neither feels possible. The footsteps are too close, too fast.

Your body makes the calculation before your brain catches up.

You turn around—

That’s fear in the wild. You’re faced with a real threat—your body is responding exactly as it should.

The thing that most don’t realize is: your body can’t tell the difference between a forest scenario or a scary movie you just watched.

In both scenarios, your autonomic nervous system kicked into the same sequence:

Your sympathetic nervous system activated—this is your body’s mobilization response. Heart rate spikes. Breathing changes. Blood redirects to major muscle groups. Adrenaline floods your system.

All of this happens before your conscious mind registers “I’m afraid.”

Your amygdala (the part of your brain that processes threat and safety) assessed the situation in milliseconds and sent the signal: Threat detected. Mayday! Mayday! Respond.

So, it’s not a question of:

• Looking at fear for “what it is”
• Or accepting fear is hear—which is on the right track.

It’s understanding: okay, my body is responding to an experience and at this moment (since we’re talking about fear) what is perceived as a threat. In a case where your mind knows you’re not in danger, but your body is bringing up the fight-flight-freeze responses. When you pause to feel the actual sensations without immediately making them mean something, you give your nervous system space to orient, assessing if the threat is real or if you’re responding to an old pattern.

This is where capacity building happens. You’re not trying to conquer fear, but learning to stay present with the sensations fear creates in your body.

How to Handle Fear

One of the phrases I often here fake healing guru practitioners is , “Oh, live in the present moment,” as if there’s no depth or meaning to it. Or my favorite is when someone is teaching you mind hacks to “overcome” fear.

To be clear: Fear is unfortunately programed in us, but how we understand ourselves and handle fear can lessen the “fast heartbeat” or any emotions that arise when your mind clearly knows you’re safe but your body is wanting you to take you on for a ride.

In other words, this isn’t about deep breathing exercises or forcing yourself to calm down.

When I had my stitches removed, there was a mix of fear and pain happening in my body. My nervous system was activated—heart racing, blood pressure was high, muscles bracing for what was coming. The nurse seemed hasty, which made me nervous and anxious.

I couldn’t just “okay, let’s take deep breaths and hold it.” That’s not how this works when you’re actually IN it.

What I could do in the moment:

Notice my environment.
The texture of the chair I was sitting in.
The sound of the medical equipment.
The temperature of the room.
The other nurses talking amongst themselves.

Yes, I was breathing, but not cathartically nor forcing some technique.

This is what bringing yourself into the present moment actually looks like—this is proper grounding.

Your body, in this space, noticing what’s real right now.

And yes—this shit is practice. This is reps.

The more you practice noticing your environment when your nervous system activates, the more your body learns: “I can be in this sensation without being consumed by it.”

Not to sound like a broken record: We’re not trying to make the fear go away. You’re teaching your body that you can be present with the sensation while staying oriented to your actual environment.

That’s the difference between being IN fear and being WITH fear, which both are valid.

Takeaway: Is There a Thing About Zero Fear?

If you’re asking whether the fear response disappears—no. Your nervous system will still activate when it detects threat, real or perceived. Depending on how your physiology works, the heart racing; stomach dropping; muscles tensing will still be here.

But what changes is the following:

You can be a person who learns you can feel fear in your body without being consumed by it.

You can notice the sensations—heart racing, breath shallow—and simultaneously notice the chair holding you, the ground beneath your feet, the actual environment you’re in right now.

Zero fear isn’t about eliminating the response. It’s about eliminating the fear about the fear response.

You stop being afraid of your own body’s intelligence, making the sensation wrong, and stop trying to override what your nervous system is telling you.

You just notice it.
Orient.
Breathe naturally.
Stay present.

And in that presence, you build capacity. Not to push through it, but to be with it.